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Hi! I'm Dr. Neff (Neurodivergent Insights)

I provide resources for the neurodivergent (ADHD and autism) person in mind.

Featured Post

“Have I Done Something Wrong … Am I Bad?” + This Week's Roundup

Hi Reader, Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night (not a rare occurrence for me lately). I had one of those dreams where you've done something terrible, and in that moment between sleep and wakefulness, you're trying to figure out if it was real. Did I actually do that terrible thing? It felt like 20 minutes of dread, though knowing how sleep works, it was probably only 30 seconds. What was strange about last night was that I felt stuck in a loop — realizing it was a dream, then...

Hi Reader, This week, over on social media, I wrapped up the mini-series on neurodiverse communication. As I explored the nuances of these interactions, I found myself reflecting on something that’s been a lifelong challenge for me: navigating what I call “social-based conversations.” Certain questions have always been difficult for me to engage with — unfortunately, they tend to be the kinds of questions that serve as entry points for most new relationships and conversations! Things like:...

Hi Reader, Last week, I shared a general sense of stuckness I’ve been feeling lately — or perhaps for much of my life. First, I want to thank everyone who responded. I received close to 200 emails, each brimming with thoughtfulness, depth, curiosity, and shared struggles. I’m grateful for the wisdom and humanity you offered. This week, I want to share a story from my childhood that seems to echo through my life — a story that might just resonate with some of you, too. [This newsletter...

Hi Reader, You know how a lot of writing follows the format of presenting a problem and then offering a solution? Today’s newsletter is not that. I’ll be sharing about a problem that has been on my mind. And I will be upfront with you that I don’t yet have a solution to this one. I have a lot of thoughts on potential solutions, but I am far from arriving at an answer that works for me. And I definitely don’t have an answer that I believe works universally. And I suspect this is one of those...

Hi Reader, Last Sunday, I shared some thoughts about how powerful it can be to connect with others who share our neurotype. Today, I want to continue that conversation by diving into what I mean by cross-neurotype interactions. Before diving into today’s topic, a quick follow-up on last week’s mention of Lessons in Chemistry. It wasn’t intended as a recommendation but as a way to share some thoughts it sparked. If you do decide to watch it, please be aware that it’s emotionally intense, with...

Lessons in Neurotype Connection

Hi Reader, I've been sick this week, which means I've indulged in some guilt-free TV watching (I know, I shouldn't need to be sick to enjoy it, but obsessive minds, you know?). My spouse and I have been on a limited series kick lately, so we decided to watch Lessons in Chemistry. I didn’t know much about the show beforehand, so I was delighted when I quickly picked up that both leads appeared to be Autistically coded. Even though I’m not typically one for sappy romances, I found myself deeply...

Hi Reader, As a child, I LOVED Choose Your Own Adventure books. Maybe it was the existentialist in me or my need for autonomy, but there was something magical about them for me. I’ve been thinking about them lately, because this year, I’m working on a big project to rework the last several years of content and education that I’ve put together into a choose-your-own-adventure style format, so that people can find and access the insights that meet their needs. I still have a long way to go on...

Hi Reader, If you’ve been around animals at all, you’ve probably observed this phenomenon, even if you don’t know the playful name it goes by — the “zoomies.” This is when an animal, often pets like cats and dogs, but sometimes wild animals too, runs around with frantic, playful energy. The first time I observed this was after giving my anxious dog, Elliott, a bath. He would sprint wildly around the house afterward. A few months back, while observing this behavior, I pointed and shared with...

Hi Reader, Over the last two and a half years, I’ve been saying I want to start making courses. Each of the 20 workbooks I’ve created could easily be crafted into a course, but I've wrestled with a lot of ADHD-related procrastination and difficulty getting started. But finally this week I started doing it. Declaring my intention to create these courses and putting it on the schedule for the Learning Nook ignited a sense of urgency — which, it turns out, is what I ultimately needed to get...

Hi Reader, Last week, as usual following my weekend newsletter, I received a handful of email responses. I enjoy these interactions as they help me gauge how my thoughts are being received. However, one email, in particular, I would have been fine not to receive. It was from someone telling me to stop with these monthly pride emails, suggesting that some of us don’t like to center our victimness. The sting of their criticism lingered. My OCD brain, ever the relentless carousel, replayed the...