Hi Reader,

If you've been around here for a while, you know I talk a lot about sensory overwhelm, overload, and meltdown. Today, I want to nuance this discussion and share an idea I've been mulling over for the last few months: the experience of being simultaneously overstimulated and understimulated.

A few months back, I attended a theater production at my child's school (they go to an incredible school focused on art and theater). I don't attend these events often because they are quite challenging for me. We arrived early to be prepared and secure seats that would accommodate our family. As I waited for the show to start, I noticed just how physically uncomfortable I was. I realized that I was experiencing both sensory overstimulation and intellectual understimulation. I was BORED. I hadn't brought any books or notebooks to jot down ideas or lists. As an ADHDer, I describe the feeling of boredom as wanting to crawl out of my skin (or mind). It's a painful experience that makes my whole body feel restless.

So, there I was, simultaneously overstimulated by all the sensory input around me and understimulated intellectually. I realized in that moment that this was a special kind of sensory hell — the experience of being both overstimulated and understimulated.

It reminded me of all the hours I spent in school (and in Sunday church services) as a kid. I would frantically escape by making lists or creating worlds — planning, planning, and planning. If I couldn't engage my interests, I'd sit there making plans on when and how to engage them. I would escape into my rich inner world to stimulate my mind (and escape the sickening feeling of boredom) and to distract from the sensory overwhelm around me.

The term "autism" is derived from the Greek word "autos," meaning "self." It was first coined in 1911 by Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler to describe how a person "turned inward" or was in their own world. While it originally had negative connotations like being self-absorbed, I actually resonate with this description of being "of my own world" quite a bit. The world I create in my mind often provides the Goldilocks sensory experience I crave — the place where I can be intellectually stimulated and sensory regulated. In the outer world, while not impossible, I find this balance much harder to find.

Recently, I gave a talk to a small group of clinicians, and the topic of school avoidance came up. I shared this framework of under- and overstimulation and how it might frequently occur, especially for AuDHDers. This framework captures something more nuanced than simply being "overstimulated." For anyone who might find this of interest, I hope it helps you name some of your experiences and learn to cultivate Goldilocks conditions (ideal sensory stimulus), whether in your own inner world or the life you've created around you.

Warmly,

Megan Anna

Neurodivergent Insights

★彡 Weekly Roundup ★彡

🎙New on the Podcast

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This week marks the second installment of our new series on ADHD. We dive into the inattentive traits of ADHD, exploring the diagnostic criteria, and sharing personal experiences with these traits.

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💻 New Blog Post

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Continuing the theme of demystifying complex diagnoses, this week’s article explores the differences between Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. It also marks the creation of a new #MisdiagnosisMonday Venn Diagram!

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📖 UPDATED NDI Resource

I like to go through and update my workbooks (both to update information and design)

I’m really pleased with how the sleep workbook update came along — this was one of the first workbooks I ever created. In this workbook, I draw on a lot of the information I learned when working as a health psychologist.

If you’ve previously purchased this workbook, you can access the updated version through the link provided at the time of purchase (pro tip: search your inbox for "Neurodivergent Sleep Workbook Inside"). For those interested in this workbook, I'm offering it at 25% off this week with the coupon code "SleepPlease."

Clinicians can use the code "SleepPleaseCI" to get 25% off the ​clinical version).

🧰 Neurodivergent Resources (Free)

I've really been appreciating Autism Level Up's resources this year. They offer a wealth of great educational materials, and several downloads are available for free. One free tool I use a lot is the ​Regulator​, which is excellent for better understanding your sensory experience and learning how to use sensory input to up or down-regulate your system.

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Thanks for being here. I'll catch you next week.

Dr. Neff